1066
My battle at Varaville
Decidedly, I will know no respite until such times as all of my enemies have met with their fate...
Henry I, still angst-ridden by my power, has ordered for my dukedom of Normandy to be invaded. He and Geoffrey Martel have joined forces in Angers in the hope of intimidating me. I must admit that it was a cunning plan. Their thousands of men marching towards Caen made quite an impression compared to my own few hundred horsemen; but my will proved to be unshakable and my tactics invincible. To reach Caen, these scheming rascals had to cross the Dives marshlands, which are flooded at this time of year. So, while they made their way to the only possible route between Varaville and Périers, I was already waiting in ambush in the Bavent woods, with both my men and loyal peasants from the surrounding countryside. Before dawn broke on the 22nd of March, while they were already well on their way along that famous route, we had blocked the passageway in such a manner that their only remaining option was via the wooden bridge over the River Dives, which collapsed under the weight of their panicking forces, men, horses and carts all plummeting into the waters. May the entire nation of France now be duly warned that Normandy is invincible and that I shall massacre anyone who should dare attempt to do me wrong!